Appaloosa - 2008

Grade = F

-  I don't remember what even happened in this movie because it was so boring I wanted to cry.

-Mr. Joe says: "Ed Harris sucks and bridget jones diary was disgusting and her face was melting off and she turned into a fishfaced monster"

Where Eagles Dare - 1968

Grade = B+

-By the end of this movie I really needed a Gatorade because I could literally feel the fire and explosions coming out of my television set.  Why isn't this movie playing every night on Turner Classic movies? or maybe it is, I don't have cable.  Well anyways don't be fooled into thinking it's older and there won't be enough graphic violence.  The cover art really says it all.  Just have a Gatorade with you.  YOu will need it.  And Clint Eastwood and that other guy I've never seen before just keep the kills flowing.

-Mr. Joe Says: "Nazi's die"

Marty - 1955

Grade = B+

-This is a movie about a fat old ugly lonely butcher who is one really nice guy.  His brothers and sisters have all gotten married but Poor old Marty is alone and hates life.  I highly recommend this movie for creeps or lonely people who feel they have it bad and will never find love.  Another reason I loved this movie other then it being amazing was that it was 90 minutes long.  90 minutes is perfect. every movie should be 90 minutes long.

-Mr. Joe says: "Be grateful you don't look like Ernest Borgnine"

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - 2011

Grade = C+

- I really don't know much about these pirate movies, and I don't really like pirates all that much, but for some reason I had a good feeling about this one.  I'm so glad they got rid of that less hot version of Natalie Portman and that other guy, whatever his name is.  Which meant more sexy Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz. ( I can't really write right now, people are hovering around me)  Anyways, it was an Ok movie, except for that Religious beefcake-ass hole, and what the hell was up with the mermaide, she grew legs? then she was gonna die, made no sense.

-Mr. Joe Says: " Blow on water"

Cars 2 - 2011

Grade = C-

-Pixar's first piece of shit.

-Mr. Joe Says: "laugh at 1 mile per hour for two hours"

Bonnie and Clyde - 1967

Grade = C

- I wanted to like this movie, does that count for anything? No.  All I heard were good things about this film, and I am scared to grade this movie lower than a C because I don't want to look like an idiot.  But the real honest truth is that this movie isn't that great and I was bored as hell at some points.  And it wasn't that Clyde doesn't do Bonnie at all in the movie, or he does once and you don't even see anything, and it wasn't that annoying old lady, I think I didn't like it because it had no punch or tang.  I hope you know what I mean, because I don't.

-Mr. Joe Says: " Maybe I am too stupid to enjoy this one.  Or maybe you are an idiot for liking this one.  OR maybe you are a real moron for even reading this"

The Green Hornet - 2011

 Grade = B-

-Now I have said some really mean things about Seth Rogen, and I really thought I hated him.  But you know what? I have changed my mind about him, and he isn't so bad.  I was expecting Green Hornet to suck so bad and maybe that is why I was surprised at how funny and cool it was.  It is not amazing, but it is better than going outside.  It was good enough for me to say that Seth Rogen is ok with me ( Until I see that dumbass movie pineapple express again, man that sucks balls).  The Asian guy was pretty good to, and an old nasty yet cute Cameron Diaz is in it.

Mr. Joe Says: " I liked it, it would have been better if it was rated R and had more blood and violence, or maybe it wouldn't have been I don't know"