The Family Man - 2000

Grade = D

-What was I thinking when I bought this movie without watching it first? Am I an idiot? sadly yes. but I only paid 3 dollars for it so oh well.  This film is not Excellent, in fact this movie is pretty damn far from excellent, it really really sucks.  I thought at least it would be kind of funny and Cage would act really weird and i would enjoy it on a sick level.  But when a movie is this slow, I just pray for it to end.  By the way the person who said it was excellent was the UPN channel which is long gone, and nobody should listen to anything UPN says.

-Mr. Joe Says: " Another piece of shit I bought from the Mall"

Kelly's Heroes - 1970

Grade = B+

-This movie was great, it had guns, killing, explosions, comedy, and gold.  The classic ingredients of a great film.  The sutherland beard boy is really groovy.

-Mr. Joe Says: "Makes War seem like summer camp"

Bedazzled - 2000

Grade = C

-This is another one I used to rent a lot when I was 11 years old.  Elizabeth Hurley is the devil and she is trying to help Brendan Fraser who plays an annoying idiot loser gain respect and be loved by people and some ugly girl he likes.  Well anyways he is granted 7 wishes and he keeps making these wishes and they go all crazy and Elizabeth HUrley is just a babe throughtout the film.  I don't understand why Brendan Fraser doesn't just get with the Devil, she was much nicer looking then the girl he likes, but oh well.

 -Mr. Joe Says: " I feel this movie could have been so much better than it was but don't get me wrong I like this movie even tho it sucks balls, it has some good points, I just hate it in movies when things don't work out..."

Monkeybone - 2001

Grade = C-

-Alright this film is just so damn weird.  I'm not sure why I rent this every couple of years, but I think that my mind blocks out how incredibly weird this shit is.  After watching The Mummy I wanted to re-live some of my favorites from when I was 11 and 12, so I picked up MonkeyBone, and after watching it I felt very alien and dirty.  This movie is kind of like BeetleJuice but just missing something, it has some pretty cool moments though.  I would check it out just for fun.

-Mr. Joe Says: "This movie is perfect for sick 12 year olds"

The Mummy - 1999

Grade = B (A with Fraser Commentary)

-The Mummy is one of those magical movies that you can't help but just watch all the time.  Brendan Fraser at his all time best and dorkiest.  It has loads of action and humor, and that's all I really want.  And the girl is pretty smoking hot as well.  But I will say I have a strong childhood tie to this movie, and I can understand why someone might think this movie sucks, but I say to them that they are stupid assholes.

-Mr. Joe Says: "Make sure to watch this movie with Brendan Fraser Commentary, it is the funniest thing I have ever heard. made me love the movie ten times more.  It's like watching it with an old crazy Uncle."

Appaloosa - 2008

Grade = F

-  I don't remember what even happened in this movie because it was so boring I wanted to cry.

-Mr. Joe says: "Ed Harris sucks and bridget jones diary was disgusting and her face was melting off and she turned into a fishfaced monster"

Where Eagles Dare - 1968

Grade = B+

-By the end of this movie I really needed a Gatorade because I could literally feel the fire and explosions coming out of my television set.  Why isn't this movie playing every night on Turner Classic movies? or maybe it is, I don't have cable.  Well anyways don't be fooled into thinking it's older and there won't be enough graphic violence.  The cover art really says it all.  Just have a Gatorade with you.  YOu will need it.  And Clint Eastwood and that other guy I've never seen before just keep the kills flowing.

-Mr. Joe Says: "Nazi's die"